It's Ok if I Have No Desire to Run a Marathon as Long as I Eat Kale, Right?

I'm in my middle 20's.

For some, this statement causes outrageous feelings of resentment and the urge to tell me I'm just a kid with my whole life ahead of me and make sure I don't get married because it's the biggest mistake I'll ever make while simultaneously asking If I have a boyfriend and do I think we'll get married.

Or if you're my Granny, you want to know when a young, beautiful girl like me will find a nice rich man, preferably who plays for the Yankees, while simultaneously asking if I've gained weight. And let's not forget the grandkids. She already has a bunch of them, but has no trouble using the "I'm not going to be around for much longer card" on me. My Granny is using her eventual death as a tool for her peer pressure.

People are really asking a lot of me. I'm just trying to make sure I remember to put a bra on before I leave for work.

It doesn't help the pressure when I see people from home marrying their high school sweethearts. Yes- without even trying anyone else. I will probably lose at least 10 friends on social media for that sentence.

I've seen a lot of other things start to change outside of the weddings and babies. It's become common to have a self-involved blog about nothing and it seems like everyone grew a beard.

Everyone.

The most prominent trend I've noticed recently is that a vast majority of my peers are deciding to get right with their fitness and health. I'm down with that. That is cooool with me. But I can't deny, some of it is beyond me. Surpasses my understanding. Just doesn't even interest me at all.

For example, Crossfit. Changing people's lives left and right. Empowering the once weak and getting otherwise finicky digestive tracks regular. For me, it sounds a little scary.

Or hot yoga. If I'm going to have speedo-clad men bending over in my face and accidentally wicking their sweat onto my body, I want to have complete control over exactly who those men are. The closest thing I've ever done to hot yoga is cleaning my apartment without the AC on, and that was hard enough.

But out of all of the fitness trends I see moving through my social circle, the marathon running is definitely the most intimidating. I see those "26.2" bumper stickers and think, "26.2 times more insane than me."

When I think about running a marathon, my first objection is the running. I do not like to run. I do it, but the whole time I'm having to flex my imagination. I'll listen to a song and pretend it's about me. Like something obvious such as Jay-Z's, "Hard Knock Life." Or perhaps that I am performing it.  For that, the song that comes most immediately to mind is Celine Dion's, "That's the Way it Is."

One number that I can use for both fantasies is the Bee Gees rendition of "More Than a Woman."

The next mental block is the distance. 26.2 miles is a long distance which means a long time. What does one think about for all of that time? How do you stay motivated? Before I even say this, I know it's a bad attitude, but I feel like I would get bored. Or just spend 22 of those miles trying not to cry.

Even though I am naturally resistant to many of the healthy lifestyle changes I see all my other 20 something acquaintances adapting, I am still making an effort to get on board.  I drink seltzer water instead of soda and will myself to believe it tastes just as good because the bubbles are really what I'm looking for. I still have not tried to make myself believe I am gluten intolerant because never will I ever. Nor do I intend on giving up anything enveloped or at least blanketed in cheese. But I  do try to eat mostly organic when I can afford it, and when I can't, I buy brown eggs to trick my mind.

Beyond any of my mind tricks, I know for sure that I'm doing something right because I eat kale. And I don't know any of the facts about why, I just know that kale is a big deal. I put it in my smoothies, I eat it on sandwiches, and occasionally on its own, topped with some kind of creamy dressing and bacon.

I am just now realizing that I only eat kale when I can hide it in the other things I am eating.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Pun intended.